What is a good birth anyway?

Why is a ‘good’ birth important? Why is a complete and positive antenatal education important? What difference does it really make anyway? As someone who has experienced two enjoyable labours, but only one ‘good’ birth experience, I can assure you that it does matter…it matters a lot!

You may have been blasted with such statements as: “It’s just one day out of your life!” “What will be will be!” “A healthy baby is all that matters!” Yes, of course, a healthy baby is critical, but how about a healthy mother? How about an emotionally secure and empowered mother? How about a mother that knows how to trust her instincts? How about a mother that can look fondly back on the whole day, every sensation, every thought and feeling, and truly know that that day; that amazing day when her baby arrived; that once-in-a-lifetime moment, was joyful and not tinged with agony, whether physical or emotional.

As my daughter turned four ten days ago, I realised that it was the first time in four years that I have truly enjoyed her birthday. You see before this year, I have met each birthday with a feeling of sorrow, sadness and grief for the birth I feel as taken from me.

I hypnobirthed and I had a lovely, long, induced labour, but due to my feeling so calm and relaxed both I and the medical team missed my active labour, in which I should have been monitored for blood sugar levels, due to Gestational Diabetes. In the end, we had a very rush, panicked forceps delivery, which was not what I wanted and I felt I had no control over. It was done, almost before I had time to register it, and due to no medical reason.

I have mourned that day and how it turned out for us both, many times.

If I had known then, what I know now, about birth choices, as we teach with The Wise Hippo birthing programme, I feel that I (and my husband Paul) would have been more confident to fight for the birth we wanted and deserved; to question the steps being taken.

Now, sometimes nature does need assistance, and with The Wise Hippo, my clients are aware of this and given too the skills and techniques to understand what's going on, to question suggestions if they need to in order to seek out the facts of the situation. And then, if it is necessary and/or they decide to change their birth plan in line with what is happening, then it is their choice, their decision and they maintain control. This is key to feeling that they have achieved a good birth.

Some of my clients have faced these choices, but they have been able to meet them head on, calmly, confidently questionning the process as needed and sometimes deciding to take the suggested option. There are those that have opted for gas and air, epidurals, assistance during delivery- yes, that is absolutely fine to do with The Wise Hippo birthing programme! Other colleagues' clients have even used their techniques to have totally wonderful and empowering C-sections!

Contrary to popular belief, hypnobirthing, certainly The Wise Hippo way, doesn't encourage 'no drugs' (yet, often women will come to us as they'd prefer to avoid these), but ultimately it's about having the right birth on the day; a birth that you have maintained control of, and that is how, no matter how your birth may go, you will still have a reat experience with The Wise Hippo, because you trust in yourself, your baby, and the birth process.

The Wise Hippo is 'about creating strong, confident mothers, who learn instinctively to trust themselves and, by using their inner wisdom, make choices that are right for themselves and their families.'

You will remember your birth experience, the day you met your baby for the rest of your life. It should be something that you can look back on with joy, not just because you met your baby that day, but because you met them in a positive, empowered and joyous, calm, comfortable and knowledgeable way.