Parenting choices start in pregnancy

As a parent, you will be faced with many choices of what you believe to be best for your child. These will be different for everyone, depending on your beliefs, your family situation and your child. But did you realise that these choices start during pregnancy?

And it is ALWAYS your choice!

Whether it's to undertaken scans of your unborn child or to undergo tests for medical issues, it is your choice.

And we all make the choices that we feel to be right; it's not up to anyone else. And of course, no one will ever make a choice to knowingly put their child or themselves in any danger. But, when making that choice, in order to make it, you need to understand the facts and have the knowledge to make an informed choice that is right for you.

I got to thinking about this recently, after having a conversation about breastfeeding with a male colleague.

Now I chose (and it's my choice, not something that I preach to others or suggest you do, unless it is what feels right for you) to breastfeed both of my children. I was discussing the sometime lack of support, in public, to do just that, with particular reference to a sign placed within a well-known national chain store which had a lovely 'Family Room', but which had a special, private area for 'Bottlefeeding'. His response to this was that for some Dads, being in a room with a breastfeeding mother could be uncomfortable. To which my response was 'tough'. If a mother chooses to breastfeed her hungry child, then she should not be made to feel uncomfortable or indded feel that the environment does not 'allow' it.

And that very much is what we often hear from mothers, more specifically mums-to-be, during the pregnancy and into labour and birth; 'I was not allowed', ' They told me I had to...', 'I was made to...'. This type of inference does not empower a parent to make the right choice for them when they feel that choice simply does not exist.

When I had my first child, I too was made to feel that I didn't have a choice, and at that time I also didn't know that I did, indeed, have these choices available to me.

Medical teams can, yes, give you the medical facts, express their opinion on what they feel would be the prefereable course of action for you, and even suggest that you do or don't do something...but, at the end of the day, that choice, whatever it may be in relation to your health, your baby's health, or the action available to take, is yours. It is your body, your baby, and, therefore, your decision; your choice.

So, in conclusion, whatever you do or don't choose to do, is up to you. And at this point I will make one mere suggestion: by CHOOSING to undertake antenatal classes, you choose to learn. You choose to learn about the option available to you and how to make an informed decision that is right for you and your baby during labour and birth. The Wise Hippo birthing programme gives you the tools, knowledge and confidence to challenge any sense of being 'allowed' to do something. You learn to ask questions in the right way in order to make your own choice, so that you and your baby have the right birth on the day.

These skills will also stand you in great stead for all the other choices that you will need to make once your baby arrives, so that you will not only feel empowered, strong and confident furing your birth, but through your parenting life, because the skills you learn duringthe course are, in fact, skills that you can use throughout life to support you in the right way for you.