Juggling business, family and work!
Since hypnobirthing my daughter in 2010, hypnobirthing has been an enormously important and inspirational aspect of my life. Who knew that birth could be so pleasant; calm, relaxed and pain free, even? Not me...until then. I, like I'm sure many will attest, birth as society largely sees it has been dramatic, stressful and often something to fear. But it really doesn't have to be. And hypnobirthing showed me, like many others, how to make it otherwise.
I started my classes at 28 weeks pregnant. Hubby and I went along to four very relaxing and empowering classes, which taught us all we needed to know to embrace birth and actually, believe it or not, look forward to it. Now, our pregnancy and birth weren't without their issues; I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes at 28 weeks pregnant - conveniently just as I began my hypnobirthing journey; which helped me deal with the challenges of the GD admirably - thank goodness I learnt how to keep a calm and level head.
Our birth - not the best in the end...lovely, calm, pain-free labour, but a birth that went a little awry. I ended up with a forceps delivery and a couple of unecessary drugs along the way, which I chose, just so that I could get some sleep. But, sadly, I wasn't supported properly in my choices, it all got a bit manic (not me - I was cool as a cucumber - but out of it on a sleeping tablet), and choices got taken out of my hands. But my beautiful girl was here, and she was my inspiration to help others achieve the birth that I didn't.
When I had my son in 2012 it was different story. Noone was taking this birth from me; it was mine and we were doing it my way. Thankfully, the GD complication didn't come up this time. I was healthy, low-risk, and so chilled out I never once thought about: 'when my labour would start?', 'how would it go?'; uterly laid back. His birth was 'perfect'. Still a little long for my liking, but I was right there, in it. I enjoyed it. It was the BEST day of my entire life, without a doubt, and I don't have a single negative thoughts about any of it. It was amazing, blissful, pain-free and enjoyable. I was so tuned into my baby that I've often thought we have a bit of a psychic link - but perhaps that's just mother's instinct going into overdrive!
After he arrived, I finally acted upon my desire to teach other mums-to-be. I trained to become a Wise Hippo instructor - not the programme that I learnt, but one that offered so much more; which has been proven time and again, since I've began teaching in 2014.
I love it. I can't not love it. Who wouldn't love a career that helps you to support others to achieve an incredible and empowered birth. Birthing a baby isn't just about birthing a baby; a mother is also born. That should be embraced. It should be empowering. It should be met with confidence and happiness, not fear, pain and anxiety. Hypnobirthing really sets us on a positive path to labour, birth and in turn, motherhood. My hypnobrthing experience really set me up for a calm new role of 'mummy', and I often use my 'techniques for life' when dealing with my now 3 and 5 year olds! 5,4,3,2,1...relax.
What a career choice eh? Yes it is. But when I was setting up the business - new concept in my area; the Isle of Wight, UK. As with building any business, it took time to get the word out there, especially with something that's sometimes considered a little 'out there', and little 'new age' (although when you think about it - it's tuning into our primal birthing instincts, so it's actually pretty 'old age'...but still...); I needed other employment to keep things ticking over; so I took a part-time job in Southampton.
Now though, I work closer to home, doing another job that I love and that I'm good at. I work full-time for the local council. And I run a business. With a husband that it out of the house for 12 hours a day. And I have a 3 and 5 year old. Thank goodness fo my parents! Without them, I'd be lost.
It's tough. Being a mummy on its own is tough enough. I feel a huge responsibility to be at my kids' beck and call constantly; to keep them fed, clean, happy...it's hard. But like all mummies, I do the best I can. I feel like a failure many times a day; as many of us do. But I appreciate that I only have one pair of hands and that as long as I love them and they know that, then they too will be happy. So the house isn't clean and they don't always get everything that they want (and nor should they in all honesty!), but that's OK. They have a mummy that loves them and works hard in all I do. It was difficult to choose to return to work full-time; it was never my ideal. I never wanted this life for them. I needed some adult time, but I only ever wanted to work part-tim; but life didn't work out that way. I believe that I set a good role model for them. They see how hard I work, not only in my job, but for them when I'm in mummy-mode. They also learn to care for others, as I do in my hypnobirthing role; plus they love to meet the babies.
Juggling it all can take its toll. My best advice - get a good team around you! I am so lucky that my parents live around the corner - they are my lifeline. Not only do they pick up all the school runs, they also look after my son 2 days a week, my mum does my ironing and prepares my evening meals, my dad takes on the DIY and they generally check out whatever they can do to help me out, every, single, day! That comes with a certain amount of nagging from my mother on a daily basis, but it's the least I should expect when she's the best grandma in the world, ever!
It's also really important for me to have great colleagues that understand - I work flexible hours so that it suits my family life, so that my children can see me for the maximum amount of time each day; I am home to make them tea and play every day, because I have a good team around me at work too.
Other people are the key to my success in all aspects of my life. People that I know I can rely on, which give me the ongoing strength to take on all the challenges that I, mostly, create for myself!
I am tired all the time; but it's worth it.
Completing a project at work that helps to change someones life for the better, makes it worthwhile.
The mums-to-be whose lives I touch and who achieve the right birth on the day for them, make it worthwhile.
My smiley, happy children, enjoying our time together doing something fun, make it worthwhile.
Ultimately, it's all for my kids; isn't it always? Their little smiley faces and the joy we have when we're all together make all the hours of toil elsewhere worth it, for the family times that we share...even when that is just a oneise day in front of the telly, we're all together, and that's worth the whole world!
